dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
