She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
