Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
