His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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