what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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