Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
