call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
BRING THE BAGELS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
