i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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