Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
