Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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