I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
