There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
