if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
