i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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