i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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