You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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