I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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