Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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