You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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