I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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