honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
