Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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