I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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