feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
