how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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