Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
