WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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