PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Screwed.edu
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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