So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
