I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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