Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
