Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
