Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
