That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
