i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize