For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
