"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
