no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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