If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
