Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Vodka?
Forever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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