Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize