I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How's work?
Spinning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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