How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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