i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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