u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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