There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got inside last night via doggy door
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
