You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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