i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
