i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
