If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
