Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
