Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
