I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
