Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
