STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
