ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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