In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
