my vag is so smooth its legendary
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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