Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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