I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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