Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
